free pic hostingA little light humour
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Paul Barker
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#2746 Re: A little light humour
"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe." – Albert Einstein
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Mike H
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#2747 Re: A little light humour
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"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Paul Barker
- Loony Bin!
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#2748 Re: A little light humour
I have a Dr’s appointment.
Looking to swap for Oasis Tickets.
Looking to swap for Oasis Tickets.
"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe." – Albert Einstein
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Paul Barker
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#2749 Re: A little light humour
Little Johnny’ mother said “the neighbour has had a baby. But he is born without ears. We are going next door to congratulate her. Now remember Johnny don’t say anything about his ears or you will get a spank.”
So in they go. Little Johny says,” what a lovelt baby, he’s got all his fingers and all his toes. How’s his eyesight?”
The babys mother said “it is perfect”.
Johnny replied “ thats great because he’d be in trouble if he needed glasses.”
So in they go. Little Johny says,” what a lovelt baby, he’s got all his fingers and all his toes. How’s his eyesight?”
The babys mother said “it is perfect”.
Johnny replied “ thats great because he’d be in trouble if he needed glasses.”
"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe." – Albert Einstein
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shane
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#2750 Re: A little light humour
I’d take the doctor’s appointment myself.Paul Barker wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 10:56 am I have a Dr’s appointment.
Looking to swap for Oasis Tickets.
What will happen comes closer. What has happened goes further away.
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Mike H
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#2751 Re: A little light humour
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"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
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Paul Barker
- Loony Bin!
- Posts: 9219
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2007 9:42 pm
#2752 Re: A little light humour
pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have praise. Two months ago my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, I'm Phil."
The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have praise. Two months ago my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, I'm Phil."
The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe." – Albert Einstein
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Dave the bass
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